At 9:00 am, we met the driver and we set off. We stopped to see our first Ovoo - a shamanistic pile of rocks. People circle it three times and throw three rocks onto it. It was different from the one I saw in Inner Mongolia – the one there was much more structured.
Nearby there were people charging to ride camel and hold a falcon – what is a camel doing so far up north? Ugh. They told us this would be authentic. Let's wait and see.
Finally, we got to the site, a vast plain dotted with large rock formations. Our host family was located in three gers against a large, eroded rock mountain. They barely greeted us, and directed us to our ger - it was a typical tourist ger with 5 beds and we realized we wouldn't be living with the family as we were told we would be.
After sitting in the ger for a while, three other tourists came in - two Americans and a German. They immediately started complaining and mentioning how glad they are to have new tourists. "We've been sitting here for two days with nothing to do, not enough food to eat, there's no interaction with the family, it's horrible!!!"
Oh no.
A little kid came in, put a meager lunch of macaroni and beef on the table, and left without saying anything. Shortly after, they came and asked if we wanted to ride on horses. The other three people wanted to as well, but the family told them they would charge extra since they already went the day before, so they went back to their ger and sat around.
The ride was excruciating. First of all, these were the most unenergetic horses I've ever seen in my life. I could walk faster than them. I asked the guide if we could go faster, and he just said "no, you'll fall off" and went back to listening to Mongolian gangsta rap on his cell phone. The scenery was beautiful, but the ride was unbearable. After repeated requests, I finally yelled at the guy and he agreed to let us go faster on the way back.
Once we got back, there was nothing to do again. We broke out the beer and the vodka, and spent the rest of the afternoon throwing rocks at vodka bottles and trying to surf down the slope with metal plates.
Finally, it was dinner time. Again, there was barely enough to eat. After sitting around for a while, I couldn't stand it anymore. I marched to the family ger and asked if we could have more food a la Oliver Twist. They told me there was no more. Luckily, another tour group had arrived with an English-speaking Mongolian guide and I asked her to translate for us. Finally we got them to drive us to the nearby store to buy instant ramen and more beer.
After finally getting somewhat full, we tried to start a bonfire - which was only fully ignited after I unloaded my 53% alcohol Chinese Baijiu into the fire with a found Nike sneaker. The other group joined us and we learned of their amazing experience out in the Eastern provinces. I guess it's hard to find anything authentic enough being only one hour from the capital.
The next day, we left as early as possible. I think Misaki was really upset because she didn't talk for the rest of the way. And I never really talked to her again after that either, especially after I moved to the Golden Gobi. It was very strange.
A week later, sitting in the Golden Gobi lounge after way too much vodka, I told my story to a group and ignited yells of "UB GUESTHOUSE SUCKS BALLS!!!" It seems like many people had the same experience.
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